Why did you drive your car in front of me while I was crossing the street illegally?!

So, one of the unfortunate consequences of working in a tiny, tourist driven town that is basically one long strip-mall of department store outlets with only one lane of traffic going each direction and approximately fourteen BILLION pedestrians (GASP FOR AIR) is that pedestrains assume they always have the right of way and therefore have no need to exercise caution when jaywalking into the side of your car.


I would like to note that just because your vehicle happens to be your sneakers or your on-sale-but-still-overpriced Nine West pumps does not mean that you have no need to recognize certain rules of the road. There are crosswalks every twenty feet for a reason and walking stright into traffic with you baby carriage is not a good way to ensure the perpetuation of your genes.

Therefore I would like to make it known to the internet at large that in order to ensure the safety of you and those around you to consider this:

Looking both ways before you cross the street via crosswalk to indirectly communicate your need to reach the other side of the road:  CORRECT

Jaywalking (especially with no indication of intent) and then getting outrageously angry when you are then honked at by the driver whose side door you almost dented with your occupied stroller : INCORRECT

Philosophy Fail

Today I arrived on campus a little more than a half an hour early with the intention of whipping out an essay for my first class, Philosophy.  Upon checking my syllabus (which I had neglected to do anytime in the 6 days between the last class and today) I find that the title of the next essay is on epistemology, or the study of knowledge
WHICH ISN'T DUE TODAY BUT NEXT WEEK. GLORY, OH GOD I AM SAVED.

So what are we doing today?  Ohai First Exam Out Of Three.  Cool.  No Essay.  So what do I do?

Interwebz! Facebook! Email! Taxes(?)!

And then it's time for class and I sit down and look at the paper and realize that
oh crap. Not only did I not check my syllabus within that 6 day period, I also didn't check my notes.  EVER.

DO I REMEMBER ANYTHING!?

NO.

So what do I do?  I wallow in self-pity for the inevitable failure that my foolishness has brought upon me. and I do the damn exam all the while thinking "Weltenschauug?  I wrote that in my notes. I know I did. First day of class.  BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!?"  I don't remember. Maybe I should have checked my notes.


Therefore we find that in the 30 extra minutes you have before a class in which you will be doing an exam
that

STUDYING:  Correct
THE INTERNET : NOT SUCH A GOOD IDEA HUH!?

Linear Thinking

A: I need to buy a filing cabinet.

B: Probably could have used the money I spent grabbing the new Mumford & Sons and Decemberists albums to buy aforementioned office equipment.

C: Music makes me happier than a filing cabinet.




In this case "joy" is the unit of measurement we will use to determine that

Buying cds: CORRECT
buying filing cabinet: INCORRECT

Hello Interwebs.

This blogcomic was designed with the intention of educating the internet users on the correct way to compose and carry one's self out in polite society.  We will explore such functions of social niceities as doors, DMV lines, fast-food drive-thrus  and a variety and plethora of other subjects and the correct way to use, act, or otherwise implement behavior regarding these elements as well as the INCORRECT ways.


Comics will be interspersed throughout blogs containing meandering philosophical jargon about the meaning of life and of things such as shelves, sealions, or other such nonsense.


Submissions are welcome.

Enjoy.